Parenting Blog — Hanna Perkins Center for Child Development

65,000 register for course on ‘Emotional Intelligence’

May 14, 2013 By Bob Rosenbaum Leave a Comment

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, manage and communicate feelings.

At Hanna Perkins Center, emotional intelligence is regarded as a key to happiness and success in life. We’re not alone in this.

Earlier this spring, Richard Boyatzis – a highly regarded professor at Case Western Reserve University – offered a free online class called Inspiring Leadership Through Emotional Intelligence. According to The Plain Dealer, more than 65,000 people registered to take it.

The following 2-minute video is how Boyatzis himself describes emotional intelligence as a foundation for leadership and success.

Modules in the course syllabus have such titles as:

Emotions are contagious
Stress and renewal: becoming open to learning and change
Emotional Intelligence and its link to Leadership
The battle between the Ideal Self and Ought Self

Different people master various facets of emotional intelligence at different times in their lives. But the sooner children begin this work, the better positioned they’ll be for success in school.

In one popular Hanna Perkins blog post, Deborah Paris, LISW, listed 19 things that children need to learn in preschool. If you read it from the perspective of emotional intelligence, the list is really a catalog of feelings. And success for all of us – no matter how old we are – depends on a learned skill of recognizing these feelings when they occur and managing them constructively.

For 65,000 people taking Boyatzis’ class, that would seem to make sense.

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, Parenting Blog

A formula for a perfect kids’ summer

May 14, 2013 By The Grandmothers Leave a Comment

Warm, sunny days! Aren’t they great after having been cooped up all winter? Everyone is so ready for fresh air and freedom.

And freedom is what we grandmothers wish for your young children during spring and summer.

Yes, we know we must be concerned for their safety and we understand that the work week continues for most parents. But please, we implore you, try to provide some sense of freedom and independence for them this summer.

Take advantage of this time – when some routines change and nature beckons – to make this all-too-short season a time of growth and happiness.

The rules

At the start of the outdoor play season, think about the ground rules that are appropriate for your children now; they can do so much more than they did last year. Decide how to set the limits that will allow a young child to realize how much he has grown, how competent he is becoming.

Figure out the boundaries that will allow you to be comfortable without having to be constantly on guard. “You can ride your trike as far as Mrs. Smith’s house, then turn around and come back.” How exciting is that for the 3-year-old who couldn’t even ride the trike last year?

And for the 5-year-old: “You can walk around the block to your friend’s house; just call me when you get there.” She will feel as adventurous as if she had gone to the moon.

Even the toddler will feel like a big boy when you get him out of the stroller and give him a paper bag to fill with his discoveries as you walk slowly to the vacant lot down the street.

Using the things he picks up to make a collage, or sorting them into an egg carton when you return home, extends the sense of discovery even further.

The freedom

When you go to the playground, don’t stop your children from challenging themselves in new ways. Children need to try new and harder things – climbing higher, jumping further, pumping their legs to make the swing go without Mommy or Daddy always pushing them.

If at all possible, provide a safe, enclosed place in your yard where your children can play without your constant supervision. Sure, you’ll check on them from time to time, but the main idea is to let them make up their own activities and allow lots of time for their play.

Ideally, this is a place where they can make a mess with water, dirt, sand and weeds to mix into a mud pie.

Ideally, there is some place where they can pretend they are in a hideaway or fort or ship. Use your own imagination to provide the basics, but allow plenty of leeway for them to use their imaginations—you won’t believe what they come up with.

Anything with water: Help Daddy wash the car, run through the sprinkler, “paint” the side of the house or a wall with a bucket of water and a real paint brush. And how about bubbles? They can provide hours of experimentation using kitchen utensils. Visit Bubblesphere to find a recipe for the best bubble mixture and for ideas of items to use to make different kinds.

The props

Anything you can do to help your children experience nature will help them grow in appreciation of our wonderful world.

Planting a garden, putting up a bird feeder, walking in the woods at a nature center, feeding the ducks at a duck pond, or going to a spot where they can see and experience our Great Lake: these are all experiences that will enrich them now and throughout their lives.

One last thing: try to remember what made summers wonderful for you when you were little. Maybe you can’t remember back to toddler and preschool age, but go back as far as you can.

When you recall the whole family riding bikes together to get ice cream on long summer evenings; when you experience again the thrill of climbing what you thought was a huge tree; when you remember how you and your best friend spent hours under the back porch making pretend meals in battered old pots and pans, you’ll realize what opportunities you should provide for your children so their summer will be one of pleasure, discovery and satisfying growth.

Image courtesy of Chris Roll/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, The Grandmothers

Spring in the school garden

May 6, 2013 By Bob Rosenbaum Leave a Comment

The growing season has begun in earnest, and the children at Hanna Perkins School have been making the most of it in the school’s garden.

The garden encompasses both a vegetable garden and the Hanna Perkins Butterfly Garden – a gift of the Hershey Foundation.

Children have been cutting daffodils to decorate their classrooms, notes Laura Cyrocki, a teacher at Hanna Perkins and manager of the school kitchen as well as the garden.

Preschoolers have been pulling last year’s dried and dead stalks and stems out of the garden and contributing them to the compost pile – which is mixed with all of the kitchen’s compostable material, turned, finished and added back into the garden to enrich the soil.

Together, Cyrocki and the kindergarteners have planted sugar snap peas; some of the kindergarteners were surprised to discover that “the seeds look just like peas.”

The kindergarteners also have been observing the garlic they planted last fall. In January they observed tiny green shoots, which are now knee-high (to a kindergartener) leaves. Before leaving school for the summer, they will harvest the garlic heads to take home.

Since February, children also have been observing seedlings that they planted under growlights. These are now ready for transplanting in the garden and eventually will grow produce that is used in the healthy meals prepared in the school kitchen.

Students are also making good use of the paved path in the butterfly portion of the garden for riding bikes during their time outside.

Meanwhile, Cyrocki is maintaining the wildflowers and other plantings that attract butterflies and serve as hosts for caterpillars in the Hanna Perkins Butterfly Garden. The school’s Parent/Toddler group is also involved, raising Painted Lady butterflies for eventual release in the garden.

In a previous blog post, Cyrocki – who earned a B.S. degree in botany – explains why gardens are so effective with young children. They help children to create a connection with the world around them, and also provide important insights about the entire lifecycle that are just right for the developmental stages of children between the ages of birth and 6.

Finally, neighbors are pitching in to help maintain the garden through a small area that has been set aside for community plots. Cyrocki says all of the plots have been claimed for the year, with community gardeners paying a nominal fee to use the facility and its timed sprinklers, and support for overall gardening activities.

Filed Under: News, Parenting Blog Tagged With: garden, Hershey Foundation

Dealing with stranger anxiety

April 29, 2013 By Victoria Todd, Child Psychoanalyst Leave a Comment

Parenting has always been stressful, but now more than ever it seems. So my heart goes out to moms and dads who struggle with the issue of how to keep their children safe without instilling undue fear – fear that can lead a child to heightened levels of stranger anxiety.

Stranger anxiety is a normal part of development that occurs in most children around the age of 6 or 7 months, and it may last until the child’s first birthday or so.

At this stage, children are very attached to their primary providers, and they may experience considerable distress when in the company of people with whom they are unfamiliar. Often, they show this distress by hiding behind their parents, quietly peeking at the stranger and loudly protesting if he or she makes any overtures.

When this kind of behavior is seen in older children, I often wonder about angry feelings they may be experiencing. Are those aggressive feelings being projected outward and making the world seem like a very unsafe place?

This is typical of what you find in children who are terrified of the boogey man, burglars, ghosts, etc. As one savvy boy put it, “I think that’s just my mad feelings coming back to get me.”

So, what do you do?

First and foremost, keep your cool. Children are masters at picking up on their parents’ anxiety.

Very matter-of-factly reinforce the importance of not talking to strangers. But then, prepare the child in advance for situations where contact with strangers will be unavoidable – like at the airport, as an example.

You can say things like: “Mommy and daddy will be with you and keep you safe.” Or if a school field trip is planned, you might offer: “When you go to the museum, there will be strangers, but you’ll be with your teacher. And the school staff will keep you safe.”

Also, remind your child about police officers, whose job is to keep us safe.

If you suspect your child is projecting his/her own anger, encourage the use of words for feelings. “You seem angry; I wish you could tell me about it.” If your child seems scared of strangers to the point of panic, seek professional help.

More Parenting Tips available at www.westpsychotherapy.com.

Image courtesy of Arvind Balaraman/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, Parenting Blog Tagged With: angry, development, fear, scary, stranger anxiety

Another tragedy: Addressing it with your children

April 16, 2013 By Shari Nacson Leave a Comment

We work so hard to protect the innocence of early childhood in our family’s microcosm: Be gentle with the kitty. Put the cap back on your marker. Water the flower a little — not too much — so it can keep growing. Walk around the wriggly worms on the rainy day’s sidewalk.

All the tiny nuances of awareness that we try to give to our kids.

When something large and tragic happens in the world around us — as with the bombings at the Boston Marathon, the shootings at Sandy Hook, or natural disasters like Hurricane Sandy — it affects us all. We bear witness. We empathize. We wonder what it would be like if it happened to us, our loved ones, our children.

It can be too much to bear, and we may slip a little in maintaining the protective bubble we’ve put around our children. We might try to talk in code about the tragedy – thinking our kids won’t notice what the grown-ups are talking about. We might let our guard down about sheltering kids from the media – because we desperately want and need more information out of the wish to have the world feel right again.

So, in this awful moment, what can we, as parents, educators, care providers do for young children?

Go easy on yourself if you slip up. Notice that you might have talked in front of a child, forgive yourself for the understandable slip, and tend to what that child might have heard. Start with something simple: “I think you heard the grown-ups talking and I bet you have some questions,” or “I know I usually don’t watch the news when you are in the room. You must have some thoughts about what the news person was talking about.”
Don’t guess at what the child does or doesn’t know. Ask for their thoughts and theories. This is a great rule of thumb for any of life’s difficult moments: Spend more time listening than talking. Your job is to contain what the child has been exposed to, to garner his or her ideas and provide compassionate corrections for what has been misunderstood.
Don’t give out any additional details, other than what’s needed to correct the child’s theories. If we find the details overwhelming as adults, then the details are not appropriate for children on the periphery of the tragedy. By this I mean that unless a child is in a geographic or social radius that connects them directly to the tragedy, then the child does not need details. Children on the periphery only need reassurance that their trusted grown-ups know how to keep them safe and that the people far away who have been through something scary are getting good help.
If a child is within a geographic or social radius of the tragedy, it is important to slow down and think together with someone who knows a lot about child development about how best to address the child’s concerns. This mustbe individualized. There is no standard way to help a child integrate tragedy.
We have some professional guidelines (Do things in bearable bits; Keep what routines can be kept to provide reassurance; Know that children process things differently than adults; Avoid euphemisms …) but cannot do written justice to the help that is needed in these situations. If you care for a child whose life has been touched by tragedy, reach out for developmental guidance. If you don’t know how to find someone in your community, contact us and we will help you find someone.
Demonstrate to your child that our lives keep structure, even when there is something tragic going on for people we care about. We still eat, sleep, go to school and work, make art, play, notice nature, read, make music, even laugh. It is not disloyal to our community or our loved ones to still take pleasure in the world – even if we are mindful of suffering at the same time.
Turn off all media. The images and narratives seem to pop up and surprise the grown-ups. Do not take any chances with what your child might be exposed to. Even during children’s programs we will sometimes see ads for news programs. It is just not worth the risk of overwhelming your child. Rely on favorite CDs, DVDs, apps or tech-free entertainment. A child who is not in the geographic or social radius of tragedy need not hear about it accidentally.
If your child has been exposed to even a tiny piece of information, take the time to slow down and listen to what he or she heard or saw. Children (and adults) are traumatized by information that is not easily integrated into their understanding of the world. As therapists we know there is alwaysa way to integrate difficult things into our understanding – it just takes time, compassion, repetition (therefore patience), and a willingness to put things into words.
Knowledge does not get woven into our awareness with one 5-minute conversation; it takes revisiting over and over.
(Think about how many times you have to tell your children they must hold hands to cross the street or not to hit the dog … if it takes that many times with simple safety, then it takes that many times with big things like tragedy and loss.)

As therapists, this is what we do: We help parents find compassionate, containing words so they can have the conversations over and over, so their children can take in life’s experiences without becoming overwhelmed.

As community members, our thoughts are with the victims, families, and first responders in Boston – and around the world.

Image courtesy of Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, Parenting Blog Tagged With: communication, fear, media, scary

Moving to a new home: Why your kids aren’t excited

April 9, 2013 By The Grandmothers Leave a Comment

A mother of young children asked:

We’re going to be moving to another house in a few weeks, and whenever I try to talk to our kids about it, they tell me they don’t want to move. Or they give me blank stares like they don’t know what I’m talking about. We showed them the new place a couple of times, but they didn’t seem impressed. What’s their problem?

Moving from one home to another, whether halfway around the world or merely to another part of town, is upsetting – literally as well as emotionally. Everything must be packed, moved, changed.

Children’s sense of security depends in part on familiar surroundings and schedules – on predictability. They may not be able to understand why their parents think a move is a good idea.

This would be our best guess about how everyone’s feeling these days:

First, you:

By day you may be excited about the newness of it all, and may enjoy telling friends about the charms and advantages of your new place. But in the middle of the night, you wake up overwhelmed at all the work you’re going to have to do to get your family safely settled again. You worry about finding the time to plaster and paint; you fret about finances; you remember the tulips you planted last fall that you won’t see bloom this spring; you grow wistful remembering bringing a small infant or two home from the hospital to this very room. You are, in fact, feeling anxious, unsettled and a little sad.

Now, your children:

You don’t say how old they are, but for a preschooler, your middle-of-the-night feelings are his round-the-clock ones.

Of course, he’s a child and he often goes off to play or watch television – appearing to have forgotten about the whole thing. But when he hears you talking about the move or watches you haul in the boxes and start emptying the bookcase, he grows anxious, unsettled and more than a little sad. And, of course, intuitive little sponge that he is, he picks up your anxiety from you.

An older child would be worried about leaving his friends, maybe even his school, if that’s going to be required of him. He’s not going to be very interested in the family’s newly-acquired granite counter tops.

What to do

To the degree that it is possible, let them make some small choices – since they didn’t make that big one.

Let them decide some of the furniture arrangements, where the toys will go, the placement of their beds, the TV. For sure enlist their help with the move itself, including the packing. Help them keep track of their most precious belongings, making them the last things to go on the van – or better yet, bringing them in the family car.

For the little ones, write a book.

Illustrate it with your own drawings or cut pictures from magazines, showing everyone in the family – including the pets – moving safely from one home to the next. Use it to help illustrate the sequence of events involved.

Or get a children’s book about moving from the library, and read it together several times. Maybe you get those blank stares from your younger child because he really doesn’t know what you’re talking about exactly. He’s never moved before; what does he know about moving vans and U-Hauls?

What to say

Since you’re anxious yourself about this move, probably the last thing you want to hear about is your child’s anxiety. His sad and even angry feelings just make you feel guilty. So you are tempted to do all you can to jolly him out of his unhappiness, or change the subject when he asks questions like, “Why can’t we stay here?”

But all the same, here are some of the things you might say:

“Of course you’re sad to be leaving the place where we live in now. Of course you’re going to miss the kids across the street. Of course you’re going to miss your apple tree; and the bedroom ceiling that we put glow-in-the-dark stars on; and the window seat where you could watch for the school bus. Moving is tough!”

What not to say – at least not at first

“You’re going to love our new place much more than the old one. Did you see how big your and your brother’s new bedroom is?You’ll make new friends in no time. And this Saturday I’m going to buy you those curtains that we saw at Target with the whole solar system on them. Much better than stars on the ceiling. Wouldn’t they look great in your new bedroom? Etc. Etc. Etc.”

In other words, let your children be sad. Or mad. Tell them you understand – because you do; you remember those middle-of-the-night worries – and let them cry or rage or sulk. Don’t tell them how they ought to feel or try to cheer them up. Give them time, and lots of empathy.

You’re not going to be able to buy their happiness with new curtains, that’s for sure. But slowly, because you are the main source of their security, chances are they will grow to love the new place as your gradually make it a home.

Image courtesy of Ambro/Freedigitalphotos.net

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, The Grandmothers Tagged With: change, communication, feelings, home

Parenting tips on overly competitive behavior

March 20, 2013 By Victoria Todd, Child Psychoanalyst Leave a Comment

As I love to watch non-professional sports, I have been a regular at area basketball games over the past few months. Thus I witnessed struggles by children and adolescents with overly competitive behavior.

Parents seated nearby shared my concerns and wondered if sports encourage aggressive outbursts in participants and if competition is healthy for children. One mother, alarmed by her son’s behavior, inquired, “How will I know if he needs professional help?”

Good question. And, at her request, I shall address it.

Perhaps the best way to think of this issue is in terms of normal childhood development. Toddlers begin to have competitive feelings with siblings, which often focus on the issue “Me first!”

Gradually these competitive feelings get expressed outside the family with peers in preschool. But by kindergarten and certainly 1st grade, children should be able to relate to age-mates as partners with feelings. Thus they are socially ready for group play. Competitive feelings still exist, but not in such a demanding, mean-spirited way.

By their nature, games are an arena for the deployment of competitive skills – some of an attacking and others of a defending nature. Governed by inflexible rules, participants must be able to tolerate frustration and control their aggression.

As they play and compete, all children compare themselves to others to see where they fall on the achievement scale, priding themselves on their abilities and worrying about their shortcomings.

Eventually healthy children get on friendly terms with their strengths and weaknesses and gain both proficiency and pleasure from competitive games. They also develop an appreciation for their teammates’ skills and can play cooperatively without becoming overly excited or aggressive.

But some children suffer in silence, withdrawing from group play as they feel so inferior to their peers. Others show off their superiority – taunting and ridiculing those who cannot perform at their level. In both of these situations, children are telling adults, through their behavior, that they are in need of help.

Other indicators of a need for professional assistance include:

Overly aggressive behavior with a desire to hurt others
Inability to tolerate frustration leading to outbursts
Overly controlling behavior (ie. “ball hog”)
Endless complaints about unfairness and being mistreated
Repeatedly cheating
Inability to tolerate losing; desperate need to win
Showing off and always expressing “better than” feelings

For more Parenting Tips, visit www.westpsychotherapy.com.

Image courtesy of Naypong/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, Parenting Blog

Mom works and the kids don’t like it

March 13, 2013 By The Grandmothers 1 Comment

Dear Grandmothers,

Until recently I have been a stay-at-home mom with several small project-based jobs I could do online for extra money during early morning hours. A few months ago, I took on a real online part-time job because our family needs the money. I now work on my laptop at the kitchen table while I cook, while the kids do homework, etc. and time with my 6- and 8-year-old children has been severely cut. My kids are unhappy – “hating mommy’s job,” acting out, making it hard to concentrate when I have to. I feel bad for them and want things to be better but I have to keep this job. Any advice?”

Samantha R., Lakeshore Blvd.

Dear Samantha,

We grandmothers claim to know almost all there is to know about raising kids, but your question leads us first to a confession: When we were young mothers we didn’t have to deal with your problem.

Remember the 50s? Well, probably you don’t, but you’ve seen it on TV. Very few moms worked; they were at home baking cookies and playing with the kids. Except the truth of the matter is, we didn’t play with the kids all that much; the kids entertained themselves for the most part. And some of us got tired of baking cookies and wished we had jobs so we’d have our own bank accounts. The good old days.

But your children won’t be comforted much by watching re-runs of Leave it to Beaver. They expect to have as much of your attention as they ever did, and they resent having to share you with your job.

Being a modern mom you probably did frequently bake cookies and play with your kids, and now you can’t do that as often. What many parents feel in this situation is guilt, and it comes out when they say things like: “I have to work so we can buy [brand name] video games and [brand name] tennis shoes and eat out regularly at the [brand name] hamburger emporium. And won’t we have fun at Disneyland this summer?”

Parents don’t like to disappoint their children and they don’t want to hear about their children’s unhappiness. So they try to jolly the kids out of it.

In a word, don’t. Instead, acknowledge in full their anger.

Try to find out all the specifics of their resentment, and don’t try to convince them that they’re exaggerating and it isn’t so bad as all that. You don’t have to agree – just listen and nod understanding.

Tell them that you miss having things the way they were, too. Swallow your guilt and listen to their sadness. Just feeling “heard” by you will make them feel better, the same way you feel better after having confided your problems to a friend who is a good listener.

Then start talking about ways you all might adjust to this new reality. They don’t need to hear the details of the electric bill being overdue and the car needing a new transmission, but you can talk about being a family and working together differently now.

Recognize your children for managing to solve a problem or do a task without your help that, in the past, they might have asked you to do. Emphasize how capable they have become; tell them that, in fact, their help would be appreciated with some of the household tasks that you used to do all by yourself.

Explain how you could be spending more time with them if you were doing some of these tasks together; while you’re working at the kitchen laptop, for example, they could be helping you get dinner on the table. They could certainly learn to help with the laundry, and assist in clean-up after dinner.

They might complain from time to time about their newly assigned chores. Bbut you could end up feeling less pressured; they more competent and needed; and all of you important members of the family team.

Be sure to schedule some family play times as well, and strictly adhere to that schedule. Don’t make these costly outings that you can’t really afford, but research some inexpensive or even free activities: ice skating at Wade Oval costs nothing more than $3 skate rental; the zoo charges no admission on Mondays; a favorite family board or card game is free. So are hikes in the woods.

During one of those hikes you might tell your kids about that job of yours and how sometimes you don’t like it but often you do, just like sometimes they hate school but often they actually have fun there.

Tell them in words they can understand what exactly your work entails, and what you had to learn to be able to do it – and branch off to a discussion of the kind of work they might want to do some day. We want them, after all, to appreciate the world of work, and look forward to it.

You don’t have to tell your kids this next part, but you could help yourself feel less guilty by realizing that you’re actually teaching your children some valuable lifelong lessons here.

Although life can be hard we can usually find ways to cope, and children need to learn this as they grow up; they will be better prepared for the challenges they meet later on.

And you and your husband are setting a wonderful example for your children by working hard together to do what needs to be done, without resentment or blaming anyone. (Of course, there are sure to be times when you do feel resentment; try to voice these only to each other, after the kids are in bed.)

Some day these will be the good old days.

Image courtesy of Imagerymajestic/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, The Grandmothers Tagged With: disappointment, feelings, forgotten, job, parent

Starting seeds indoors; kids and gardening just go together

March 8, 2013 By Laura Cyrocki Leave a Comment

There are already early signs of spring all around us. The days are lengthening. Tiny Snowdrops (Galanthus) and Skunk Cabbages (Symplocarpus) are blooming. The maple sugaring season is in full swing, which means sap is flowing.

Your young children might be noticing the changes, as they are keen observers of the natural world around them. This time of year provides you and your children a great opportunity to start seeds indoors for later transplanting to outdoor spaces. Once outdoors, the whole life cycle of plants can be enjoyed as seedlings sprout, grow, produce flowers and fruits, then eventually produce more seeds.

Working with your children to observe and help with this cycle is a great learning opportunity. It has many parallels to how people grow and develop from tiny to little – and someday to big. It’s a helpful analog for some of the most important lessons that are part of a child’s vital development.

In an article titled Plant a Potato-Learn About Life (and Death), Hanna Perkins’ foremother Erna Furman wrote:

“The focus is on the whole life cycle, and whenever possible, on its generational sequence, allowing youngsters to understand better life and death and the connection between them… in a situation of minimal emotional significance.”

In the Hanna Perkins Kindergarten, we’ve started onion seeds for later transplanting to the Hanna Perkins School Garden. Next week we’ll be starting parsley, cabbage, broccoli, brussels’ sprouts and cauliflower.

We’re using seed-starting instructions and planting calendars from the Ohio State University Extension/Cuyahoga County to know exactly how to tend to and time our seedlings for proper transplanting to the garden. Our kindergarteners enjoy using data and guidance as they get their seedlings underway.

Thinking about starting your own seeds? Here are a few links to their resources to get you started:

Ohio State University Extension on Horticulture: How to start plants indoors

Master Gardeners of Cuyahoga County

In our experience at Hanna Perkins, we’ve found that the most important part of this process is to have fun and expect to learn together with your children. You don’t have to be an expert at it; just your investment and wonderment about planting seeds will be enough to foster your young child’s curiosity.

After all, curiosity is where all learning begins.

Like any skill, gardening takes practice. Also keep in mind, you’ll learn from your mistakes. Here are a few simple suggestions that might be helpful.

Seeds need the right combination of warmth, moisture and air to germinate. Too much of any one of these might kill the seeds. For example, overwatering may eliminate the air in the soil and cause the seeds to rot.
Seeds should be kept evenly moist, at about room temperature. You can teach your young children how to observe if the seeds need water, by allowing them to gently feel the surface of the soil to notice if it feels moist. We’ve observed that it’s sometimes difficult for children to feel slight moisture in the soil and it helps to keep a “comparison” container of dry soil nearby to allow children to see and feel the difference between the two.
We’ve also noticed that young children love to water the seeds, which can lead to over-watering and subsequent disappointment. A simple explanation about why too much water is not good for the seeds (it “crowds out the air”) is also helpful. Children want the seeds to grow just as much as we do.
Once the seeds have sprouted, continue to keep them moist, but not wet, and provide them with plenty of light and ventilation, while also being careful not to expose them to extremely hot or cold drafts.
If seedlings are too crowded in their containers, you may need to replant them into larger containers, giving them plenty of space to grow. Children enjoy caring for plants in this way; it’s a great time to notice how we all outgrow things sometimes – and how the world accommodates our growth.
Grow your plants until it is time to transplant them outside – typically after May 15 depending on the season and the plant you’re growing. Give your plants a slow transition to the outdoor environment, described as “hardening off” in the Extension Service literature.

Best of luck on your adventures into starting seeds indoors with your young children.

Laura Cyrocki manages Hanna Perkins’ kitchen and Hanna Perkins Butterfly Garden gift of the Hershey Foundation. In addition to her experience as a preschool teacher, she has a bachelor of science degree in botany.

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, Parenting Blog Tagged With: delight, garden, Hershey Foundation, seasonal

Spring ahead; don’t fall apart

March 7, 2013 By Shari Nacson Leave a Comment

It’s time again to spring ahead an hour – and suffer a week or more of family discombobulation. “There’s got to be a better way,” we all think, as the early-waking child seems to wake even earlier; or the cranky-before-dinner child seems to spend even more time in that unpleasant state; or the clever child refuses to take a bath because, “It can’t be bath time if the sun is still out!”

Know two things:

You’re not alone in your clock-changing dread; and
There are ways to make it all go a little smoother.

Here are some tips to get you through the transition:

Spring ahead on your own terms. Don’t wait until 2 a.m. Sunday. That barely works for grown-ups; it’s a lousy trick on a kid’s body clock. Change as early in the weekend as you can. This gives you time to reinforce the new timing of things before anyone has to show up to school or work on Monday.

We highly recommend changing the clock as early as Friday night, so you can wake up on Saturday with the “new” time.

This is a great life lesson. Kids need to know how to follow society’s rules (the clock must change) while being true to themselves (we change it this weekend, when it works best for our family).

Change all your clocks/watches at once. This helps you believe the time has changed, so you can be consistent for your young child. If you have somewhere to be on Saturday, try to use the “new” time to keep oriented,

Adjust all meal times to the new clock. Kids like routine; they rely on it. So pace the whole routine as normal; if dinner is usually at 6 , then continue to have it at 6 – even though it may feel like it’s coming earlier than usual. The children will adjust. If they react poorly to it on Saturday, you still have Sunday to get things settled before the school/work week begins.

Remember that a child’s wake-up time predicts his or her nap and bed times. If you have a child who is sensitive to change, he or she may have trouble going to sleep at their “regular” time when the clock has sprung forward. To the internal body clock, it feels like an hour early.

Reinforce weekday wake-up, nap, and bed times to help your child adjust. Be prepared for being a little off-kilter the first few days; naps may be shorter or harder to achieve altogether, but they will come back.

Acknowledge that the weekend feels a little funny, but don’t go into long explanations. Young children take our words literally. They will wonder why you got a different clock, or will argue that the clock hasn’t been “changed” at all.

The concept of time being adjustable may become confusing or distracting. Don’t bog the kids down with this. Your goal is to have a fun family weekend where the new times just blend into your life.

Make lemonade out of lemons. If you are concerned that your young child will have a bumpy adjustment, this is a great weekend to take the big outing you’ve been avoiding because it will mess up the nap schedule.

Sometimes the curveballs of life can actually help. A big outing throws your child’s body clock off, in which case he or she will gladly embrace the post-outing routine that you offer (with the new & improved clock time). Get up and out with a planned outing early Saturday or, better still, Sunday. Then your little one will be more likely to fall asleep at a decent time come Sunday night. And so will you.

Filed Under: Parenting Blog, Parenting Blog Tagged With: bedtime, parent, seasonal, time change