Author Archive

Why your kids don’t listen – and how to deal with it

Posted by:

A mother of young children asked why she finds herself saying the same things over and over again, but the children don’t seem to be paying attention. “It would almost be better if they would openly defy me,” she said “Instead, everything goes in one ear and out the other. Why don’t they listen to me?”

As with so many of the issues we discuss with parents about those very complex little people – their children – the answers are many ...

Read More →
0

Please don’t scare the little ones at Halloween time

Posted by:

Every year, the month of October brings a crescendo of frights leading up to Halloween. It’s all meant in fun, but for very young children scary fun isn’t fun at all; it’s just scary.

This piece was written a few years ago and we’re bringing it back now as a reminder to parents, educators and concerned adults.


Dear Grandmothers:  A few years ago, my 3-year-old Phoebe helped me hand out treats on Halloween and we were having a lot of ...

Read More →
2

Whining and Complaining

Posted by:

“Stop that right now!”

“If you don’t stop that whining, I’ll give you something real to whine about!”

“If you complain about one more thing, you’ll go to your room!”

Listening to a child’s persistent moaning and crying can make the most patient parents feel frenzied and helpless. They want it to stop — now!

They want to exert their authority – make the child change and feel their power and control over him. After all, they are ...

Read More →
0

Painful feelings – theirs and yours

Posted by:

Of all the developmental tasks that we hope our growing child will successfully master, none is more demanding on the growing parent than the child’s learning to express painful feelings.

We tell ourselves that we want him to feel free to tell us when he is angry, or sad, or frustrated, or annoyed. We are hopeful that if he acquires a complete feelings vocabulary, he will be able to cope with these emotions. We want this so much that we even ...

Read More →
0

Bedtime struggles with young children

Posted by:

Children who resist bedtime are noted for their determinedly open eyes and, usually, loud protests at being put to bed, often at the hour when the caregiver is most desperate to have the child fall asleep. Unfortunately, such bedtime struggles are not something that occurs once and then is outgrown forever but is a stage that can appear at several different ages and for different reasons: in infancy, in toddlerhood, and quite possibly at regular intervals after that. Some children, ...

Read More →
0

Saying bye-bye to the ‘binkie’

Posted by:

In Anne Tyler’s novel Digging to America there’s a humorous scene in which a mother plans an elaborate scheme for separating her 3-year-old daughter from her pacifier.

She invites all the mothers and young children she knows to a party, the climax of which will be the releasing of a clutch of helium balloons with binkies (pacifiers) attached to them. On her daughter’s balloon is the pacifier, of course, which will dramatically sail ...

Read More →
0

Promoting self-esteem

Posted by:

“GOOD JOB!!!”

The heading on the sheet of stickers says “100 Ways to Say ‘Good Job!’”, and then all 100 – from “Awesome” to “Zero Mistakes” – appear with accompanying smiley faces and abundant exclamation points. These are sold to teachers as self-esteem promoters. Everyone, especially the children, knows them to be artificial at best. But at least they are evidence of the general awareness that self-esteem is important.

But self-esteem is not so easily created, and certainly not when imposed ...

Read More →
0

Leaving children for the weekend

Posted by:

Leaving children for the weekend isn’t easy for anyone. But at one time or another, all parents need a weekend getaway – whether it’s to take a break, tend to out-of-town family matters, or attend a wedding or other adult occasion without the kids.

When this need arises for the first time, they might have some concerns – especially if their child already fusses when a sitter comes for just the evening.

If the sitter can be someone your child already knows, ...

Read More →
0

5 simple TV guidelines for kids

Posted by:

TV guidelines for kids

Put Yourself in this Picture…

Your kids squabbled in the back seat all the way home despite your shouting at them to knock it off. You have a blinding headache and you’re exhausted from a trying day. It’s past everyone’s customary dinner hour and you want to prepare and serve something in a hurry. What do you do?

You hand your children a snack and plunk them down in front of the TV, of course. But then as you ...

Read More →
0

Standing Up For Myself

Posted by:

Asserting oneself begins at birth. We parents quickly learn the differences between the loud, insistent screams our babies make. We know when our one month old is saying, “I’m hungry, NOW” or “Something really hurts!”

Asserting oneself becomes all too evident during the toddler years when “Me do” and “No”, provokes nods from adults and we mutter knowingly, “ the terrible twos”. This strong push toward independence, although it tries our patience, is generally understood to be a predictable part of growing ...

Read More →
0
Page 1 of 5 12345