Author Archive

Dealing with stranger anxiety

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Parenting has always been stressful, but now more than ever it seems. So my heart goes out to moms and dads who struggle with the issue of how to keep their children safe without instilling undue fear – fear that can lead a child to heightened levels of stranger anxiety.

Stranger anxiety is a normal part of development that occurs in most children around the age of 6 or 7 months, and it ...

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Parenting tips on overly competitive behavior

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As I love to watch non-professional sports, I have been a regular at area basketball games over the past few months. Thus I witnessed struggles by children and adolescents with overly competitive behavior.

Parents seated nearby shared my concerns and wondered if sports encourage aggressive outbursts in participants and if competition is healthy for children. One mother, ...

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When the kids are just too busy

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Some time ago, parents sought me out and indicated they very much wanted my assistance with their daughter. But when it came time to schedule an appointment, I had to contend with step-dancing on Mondays, piano lessons on Tuesdays, pottery class on Thursdays with sleepovers on Fridays. Barely eeking out C’s, the girl informed me that ...

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A simple test to know if a child is ready for Halloween frights

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Halloween is right around the corner and houses are decked out with witches, spiders, graves and bats.

Some adults seem to be involved in a strange competition to see who can create the most ghoulish, terrifying images and haunted basements, etc. All of this scariness is appropriate for older, school-age children and teenagers. But it can be very confusing and downright frightening for ...

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The forgetful child and feeling forgotten

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As a child psychoanalyst, I provide consultation services to tutors who work with children who have learning troubles.  My job is to help them understand that behavior is a meaningful communication. Children can’t always tell you how they’re feeling; they let their behavior do the talking.

Recently a tutor reported that a boy showed up for class without his school supplies. So, the tutor gave him ...

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Putting sarcasm in its place

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I think it’s important to think about things from a developmental perspective. So, let me take you back to the second half of your child’s first year of life. Remember the biting? Remember how it hurt? Well sarcastic children no longer bite with their teeth; they bite with their words. But their biting comments still hurt.

Unfortunately sarcasm is rampant in our society. Just turn on the TV and you’ll get a big dose of the mean-spirited comments that America calls ...

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Addressing lying in older children

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Pretend your son and his friend are playing basketball in the driveway. When his friend hits at long range and proceeds to celebrate, your son gets angry and hurls the ball at him. When you intervene he insists he didn’t do what you just witnessed through the window.

Now what?

When it’s obvious a child is lying, tell him that you (or another witness) saw him do what he denies. Then you must ...

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Helping school-age children overcome procrastination

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Your child has a history project due in two weeks, but he hasn’t even started. You’ve seen this behavior before — procrastination.

As is true of all childhood troubles, procrastination can have many causes. But this time, your son gives you an important clue about what’s going on:  “I can’t do that assignment.  It’s too hard!”

Often, procrastination is due to anxiety. Somehow that project feels way too big. And starting it, even thinking about it, ...

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