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Disrespectful children and authentic self-esteem

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When parents tell us they are unhappy about their children’s disrespectful behavior, we can think of several things that contribute to the problem.

First, disrespect seems to be a feature of the culture we live in. Facebook, movies and TV often show children behaving in snarky, sassy ways that get big laughs – so of course our young children imitate what they see and hear.

When they’re little, we may think that’s cute, but when they’re older it’s not funny at all.

Second, the emphasis on promoting “self-esteem” has ...

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Shopping for preschool: 19 things your child needs to learn

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When you begin to look at preschools for your children, it’s easy to be wowed by some of the exciting things many of them will offer to compete for your business, such as big muscle rooms, regular field trips, strenuous academic curricula, and name-brand extracurricular activities taught by outside instructors.

This splendid collection of  activities raises a question: How can parents figure out the best pre-school environment for their child?

It helps to think for a minute about who children are at ...

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Coaching and Modeling Good Behavior

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Promoting civil behavior in children

“We’d love to have you visit us but whatever you do don’t bring any preschoolers with you,” a grandfather remarked at a dinner party one evening.

It seems he had been visited by his children and grandchildren and was still reeling from the event. “They never listened, didn’t want to do anything, were picky about the food and got into arguments about toys,” he continued. “Kids today are like that.”

How agonizing it must be for loving parents, ...

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Dealing with tantrums

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Tantrums – appearing as early as 1 and as late as 42 – are part of a stage of emotional development the caregiver would like to be able to move the child through as quickly as possible. They most often occur  in public places such as supermarket check-out lines and shopping centers. They are characterized by out-of-control screaming and thrashing, and if the caregiver starts screaming and thrashing herself matters only get worse.

The caregiver would like the child to be able ...

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Preparing your child for kindergarten

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At one time, being ready for kindergarten meant knowing your name, address and phone number, being able to print your name, counting up to a certain number, reciting the alphabet in order and even tying your shoes.

These are helpful accomplishments, but in reality they have little to do with “readiness” for learning in a school setting.

Parents are a child’s first teachers, and they have all the tools needed to have him ready and eager to learn in an environment away ...

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7 things you can do right now if you’re suffering from postpartum depression or anxiety

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If you suspect you may have more than the baby blues – any feelings of anxiety or depression that you aren’t sure you can easily handle yourself – the first step is asking for help. Don’t hesitate. Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMAD), as the general category of afflictions is now called, is a real medical condition. It’s not your fault, it’s not your imagination and it can be treated effectively.

But it can take a few days to get in to see your ...

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A formula for a perfect kids’ summer

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Warm, sunny days! Aren’t they great after having been cooped up all winter? Everyone is so ready for fresh air and freedom.

And freedom is what we grandmothers wish for your young children during spring and summer.

Yes, we know we must be concerned for their safety and we understand that the work week continues for most parents. But please, we implore you, try to provide some sense of freedom and independence for them this summer.

Take advantage of this time – when ...

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Go play! It’s the key to success in school

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The old days

Finally research has vindicated the mothers of half-a-century ago who routinely opened the screen door in back and told their kids to go play – and not to bother coming back until the street lights came on or they heard the dinner bell (whichever came first).

Turns out these mothers were not being abusive and neglectful. The moms of the previous century didn’t know it, of course, but they were ensuring that their children developed a critical cognitive skill ...

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Putting sarcasm in its place

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I think it’s important to think about things from a developmental perspective. So, let me take you back to the second half of your child’s first year of life. Remember the biting? Remember how it hurt? Well sarcastic children no longer bite with their teeth; they bite with their words. But their biting comments still hurt.

Unfortunately sarcasm is rampant in our society. Just turn on the TV and you’ll get a big dose of the mean-spirited comments that America calls ...

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